happy eight years lover

yesterday ben and i celebrated eight years of marriage. where did the time go? somebody please tell me! the memories of standing in the back hallway of the church, weeping to the sound of the first chords of pachabell cannon in D, are as fresh as the moment they happened. that day, as i walked the aisle toward my fiancé who embodied the face of my future while clutching the sturdy arm of my daddy who held the familiarity and security of my past, my mind raced, with excitment and some anxiety, to what lay ahead for me. no one knows what lies beyond the marriage vows. for us, together till death do us part, was the only option, still is. that's not the uncertainty i'm referring to. it's the kind of, what kind of life will we have? what will our story be? no one, none, is privy to that sort of knowledge prior to i do. this is where faith comes in. hope in the one you've chosen to spend all of forever with. when secured through the holy bond of marriage any story that begins to unfold becomes a beautiful one. because it's personal, tailor made for the two.

today i sit eight years and a day past that walk toward the altar. with all sincerity i can say that i wouldn't change a thing about the story of our marriage. sure, there are moments of extreme dislike and major imperfections but in the end all of those moments count. they are vital to the bigger picture. the one that displays the beauty of two lives lived together fully committed to each other and their creator.

these past eight years have taught me that marriage is not the pristine fairytale of my youth. marriage, a real marriage, is raw, passionate & confrontational. souls are challenged, love is tested and comes out victorious and more defined. life is uncertain and the flawless plans i had set in place are often not our reality. but through the faithful love and steadfastness of my benjamin i have grown to settle into our imperfect life and surrender to the story our Creator has written in advance for us to live out together. it's beautiful and so very unexpected this life of mine. the gratefulness i feel in my heart at this moment that i get to walk through this life with my husband is overwhelming. he was perfectly chosen just for me.

as we grow ben and i are challenged to mature. usually, ben is more gracious than i during these moments. this year we made the very grown up decision to not purchase gifts for one another. big deal for this girl right here! gifts, are how i give & receive love. telling me not to give gifts is like telling me to drive blindfolded. but i did it. kind of.

during our entire dating life i secretly kept a journal for ben. i logged intimate feelings i felt afraid to say in person and documented the beginning of our journey together. the night of our wedding i gifted him this journal. it's been eight years since either of us has read it. so yesterday i felt it cleaver to wrap it up again and gift it at dinner. there while eating a scrumptious brucheta board at one of our favorite spots, we re lived the first year of our relationship. the beginning, the engagement and my private moments in my bridal suite minutes before walking the aisle towards the present. it was thrilling. reading old journals always excites me to see how far i've come.

after dinner we visited the place of our reception. we walked slowly and remembered fondly the candle lit celebration with two hundred of our closest friends and family. there in the hohokam ballroom of the hilton we sat for a moment in the same spots we did eight years earlier. this time the room lacked it's wedding night charm but our hearts did not. memory lane is so very bitter sweet but sweet just the same. celebrating eight years together without the tangible gifts is honestly the best anniversary we've celebrated. then we went home to our life and ate ice cream and watched tv because that's what married people do. :)